huomaan että vuorovesi vaikuttaa suuresti aivotoimintaasi, oletko varma ettei mantelitumakkeesi ole järkyttynyt?

soft - strong

Wilderness

Please mirror me

Reflect my bones

on your waters

Echo my voice in the canyon walls

Bury my vertebrae

in the ancient tar pit 

Rain, my blood

Mist, my marrow 

Spinal cord wrapped around

The branches of the pine

As lichen 

Soft 

Healing

... Strong

yksinäisyys on hauta 

 today

everything is overwhelming

Desiderata

 Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

by Max Ehrmann ©1927

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

-Mary Oliver

Entäjossit

Entä jos tämä muuttuu primääri-progresiiviseksi?

Entä jos mä joudun pyörätuoliin?

Entä jos menetän kognitioni?

Entä jos en enää muista asioita?

Entä jos en enää ymmärrä asioita?

Entä jos käteni eivät enää toimi?

Entä jos en enää voi hieroa?

Entä jos en enää voi piirtää?

Entä jos en voi enää matkustaa?

Entä jos en enää voi asua hissittömässä talossa?

Entä jos kukaan ei halua mua koska mulla on tämä sairaus?

Entä jos menetän itsenäisyyteni?

Entä jos en voi enää huolehtia itsestäni?

Entä jos en enää voi laittaa itselleni ruokaa?

Entä jos en enää voi juosta?

Entä jos olen jatkuvasti hirvittävissä kivuissa?

Entä jos myeliitti uusiutuu?

Entä jos halvaannun kokonaan?

Entä jos mikään näistä ei tapahdukaan?

Entä jos pelkään turhaan?

 

Don't do things which make you feel like shit.

Just don't.

It should be that simple.

It is not.

Suru sieluni syövyttänyt

kaipaus mieleni köyhdyttänyt 

kipu kehoni kuihduttanut

menetys

unelmat ennen syntymäänsä kuolleet

kaivan niille haudan itsessäni

en äärellänsä itke

turhia kyyneleitä

 I am barely hanging on

 Oh, but don't, no, don't sink the boat

That you built, you built to keep afloat

No, don't, no, don't sink the boat

That you built, that you built to keep afloat

Singled out for who you are, it takes all types to judge a man

Feel, that's all you can

Filthy suits with bigot ears hide behind their own worst fears

Live, that's all you can

It's all you can

It's all you can do, hey

No matter where I put my head, I'll wake up feeling sound again

Breathe, that's all you can

Tomorrow smells of less decay, the flowers greet this blooming fray

Be thankful, that's all you can

Flogging Molly - Float

X/2016 The travelling woman

 I am a travelling woman

Looking in the eyes of saints

And seeing my reflection

Out and inside

Everyone and everything

I am a travelling woman

Looking in and out

For guidance, for truth

For the fire, for the water

Always leaving, always arriving

Every meeting has a separation

Every separation, a reunion

I am a travelling woman

Who sings out of tune

But from the heart

My guitar just learnt to speak

Or maybe I learnt to hear

X/2105

 I am just having a bit of a moment here

It's already dark, the day is over

The Moon has apparently turned blue

I feel strong and silent

I have now understood this -

The only direction to go to is not further away

it is closer, deeper inside

To become more intimate with the truth of you

with the part you that is eternal

Will I discover wholeness, completeness, 

from inside - when my heart has been purified, 

warm, alive, light, strong, my heart

Take your ground, maintain your stance

Dig your feet into the soil

Know and remember, what is important

I exist truly for myself first

What is your Truth?

Everything is about perception

 Please let me fall in love again

please let me not let another day

pass by in discreet slicence

please open my eyes again to see 

the magical play of life

X/2017

 This day covered

in haze & grease

Disgust in the gut

Rage in the  heart

Same old songs

Same old words

Wasted days

All just waste

Moving on seems so unreal

I don't want to turn to

you anymore

The sight of you

wakes up the dogs

X/2021

Sama maa, eri maailma

minun silmäni tummuneet vuosikymmenen pauhussa

Laskenut irti viattomasta uskosta

elämän palon kadottanut

mukulakivikaduille, yökerhojen lattioille

tuopin pohjalle

Vaeltanut kehää sydämin särkynein

Nyt uusi turtuneisuus

jolta toivoen pakoa kaipaa mennyttä vapautta

jonka päältä näennäisyyden huntu pudonnut

haikailee harhojen perään

Uusia illuusion itkuja kurkusta kaivelee

mykkyyden takaa

Nyt nouse ja taistele taasen puolesta sen

mitä oikeasti olet

Palasit paikkaan, vanha palanut, uusi ei vielä syntynyt

Kuka todella haluat olla?

Vai etsitkö vain sitä, mikä jo on

Et ole niin erilainen, kuin luulet

Annettava on anteeksi erheet, rikotut rajat ja lupaukset

muutoin muuri kohoaa vain korkeammaksi

 Recently

I crave to taste the oblivion

Even though I know 

The flavour is but bittersweet

 “Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don't know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better.” 

― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Zegarmistrz światła purpurowy

 And when at last he comes for me 

the purple watchmaker of light 

Just to stir up the sky inside my head 

Ready I shall be, and bright

The days pierce me like bullets would 

The airs and floors all disappear

I look around me again and I will go 

I don't know where, forever

Without recovery

There is a light you will miss & you won't know it

There is a pain you must feel & you won't feel it 

There is a heart you must distance from & you'll crave it

There is a substance that will own you & you'll obsess over it 

There is a moment, a day, a friend, a love, that should be yours 

but you'll escape it

There is a freedom in the unknown but you'll never chase it

There is a life inside your soul & you'll never live it

Unknown