The fiercest, deepest love

the most tender one

the one which held my wounded heart

with their gentlest hands

their gentlest of hearts

I've had to let go of

for the sake of us

...for the sake of myself

shit

I had to become

sefish

in the most brutal way

I always dreaded

I never ever never ever could have imagined

it to be like this

 The nameless within me

grows to become a newborn

without name, stlll

a soulless one

seeking for a shape

in, me, in us, yours truly

not to be seen

 Se menee niin vitun diipiks

aina, joskus, sitku, mutku

Puhun kielillä joiten osaa

Vieraissa vieraita

Sylissä tuntemattomien

Omat hukassa 

Tutut hukas

Läheisyys kaukana

Koti siellä täällä ehkä eiku 

Mutku ehkäpä josnyvaiks

jos nyt tällä kertaa.. 

Ei sittenkään (taas) 

Ei ei ei (ei) enää

! 

Tää oli täs

Nyt 

Just nyt 

Ei enää

(ikinä) 

Nyt

... 

Son luonnotonta paskaa

Enkä enää jaksa esittää

Yhtään mitään

Mitätöntä

Mitättömyyttä

Melankoliani on ollakseen

Ota tai vittu jätä

Son mulle (melkein) ihan se

Ja sama

---vai onko (?) 

sittenkään

Lopputulemaltaan kuitenkin

Yhdentekevä merkityksemätön päätelmä

Kuitenkin

Me kuollaan kaikki

I am here for you

 Have we become so afraid of Love

we are scared to take up space

from our dying friends

when all they ask of us

is just to Be there 

that is all 

just to be

there

Why is it scary

Why do we deem it as 

some kind of interruption

When that is all that they could ever need?

Is it too much to ask?

The only thing we could give them

from afar?

What else can we do, anyway?

We might feel as if it is not that much at all

But we might never know that

in the moment of the deepest of despairs

when death is knocking on their door

the knock only they can hear

all they want to know

is that we are still here

with them, for them

and our silent whispers of hope

might just 

silence

the 

knock

for a while

And that is enough

 The smell of a cigarette

Lingers on my fingers

My voice is my own, only 

It is of the obvious

But never easily revealed as true

How to embody that which belongs

To you, a birthright

Which you abandoned

By forces 

Outwithin